I just put the little people away for the night and the hubby is out late for work. As I’m taking the time to write up this blog I realize that I am missing and craving solitude. Moving–which has been pretty awesome–has robbed me of my silent, alone, day-dreaming time. Sitting in the quiet now has reminded me that there has been a constant hum in my back ground. It has been made up of children, family, movers, tasks, schedules, installers, delivery folks, stressed animals and even unfamiliarity. All of these things have been a blessing to me over the last few weeks, but each one makes a noise–a disruption of the silence. Normally one or two of these sounds comes and goes, fading in and out of my life, and they aren’t too disruptive for too long. But lately I’ve noticed that all my sounds feel like they are overlapping and they are making me feel like I’m in the middle of a crowd in a stadium.
I can’t hear myself think. And I miss that.
Because as strange as it sounds, I like how I’m not lonely when thoughts float through my mind like wafting fog.
I crave moments where my head get to be blanketed in a layer of muffling thought snow.
I enjoy the anticipation of unraveling my solitude.
I’m not a die-hard fan of Eminem, but there are quite a few of his songs I love to listen to. I’ve used one on THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY playlist and there are some on my running playlist. Some I just find captivating for their transparency and honesty.
Usually when I’m calling out my writing heroes, you’ll hear names like Laurie Halse Anderson, Lois Lowry, K.L. Going, John Green and A.S. King, but Eminem has snuck onto my list of people I’m a fan-girl of.
I LOVE his poetic ability to play with word and phrase. I think he has moments of utter brilliance and I am constantly trying to make unique thought and word connections the way he does.
“Now you get to watch her leave out the window I guess that’s why they call it window pain.”
“Cause all I wanted to do is be the Bruce Lee of loose leaf.”
“Ironic ’cause I think I’m getting so huge I need a shrink.”
Seriously, the word play makes me swoon. But there’s more. This song in particular makes me think about being a writer–an artistic person with voices inside of her head. There have been so many times when I’ve loved yet hated the art in my soul and all that comes along with it. At the end of the day…
If you’re a runner, you’re probably well aware of the debate about running while listening to music. In truth, I think there are good arguments on both sides of the line. Sometimes it’s good to be alone in my head while watching the world around me. If I’m not listening to other things, I can be paying attention to my body as runners and my thoughts. But since I tend to only run without music or an audiobook about 1 out of every 25 runs, I obviously have a preference. I find the pacing of music to be very helpful, it feels like an extension of dance for me. And at the end of the day, I find certain songs to be very motivating. They make me keep running on those occasions where my head gives up long before my body actually does. It’s a tool I use to dig deep.
One of my newer songs on my running playlist is…
And as I was running and listening to HALL OF FAME by The Script, I realized that one of the things I love about the lyrics is that it gives so many options for being a winner. Translation–whatever you’re going to do–be good at it. If it’s worthy of your time, give it ALL your effort.
On the walls of the hall of fame
Be students Be teachers Be politicians Be preachers
Be believers Be leaders Be astronauts Be champions Be truth seekers
Be students Be teachers Be politicians Be preachers
Be believers Be leaders Be astronauts Be champions
Standing in the hall of fame And the world’s gonna know your name Cause you burn with the brightest flame
My favorite “BE” is the one that always makes my feet fly a little faster…BE TRUTH SEEKERS. That’s what speaks to me. But whether your calling or your passion is “on” the Hall of Fame song list, YOU KNOW IT’S THERE. The purpose of this song is to remind you to BE SOMETHING.
Now tell me what Hall of Fame you’re standing in at the end of every day. What makes you burn with the brightest flame?
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