It seems that lately, I’ve been exposed a little bit more than usual to the frustrated conversations of people dealing with the effects of untreated mental illness and addiction. What I’m noticing with these dialogues is a range of emotion. At one end of the spectrum there is compassion for those who are so obviously in need of quality medical support–a whole hearted attempt at kindness and understanding. And on the other end of the spectrum there is shock and rage directed at the cruel things that are side effects of a person who is no longer grounded in their original essence. I often view these people, behaving so destructively, like a plane falling out of the sky. They are trying to make an emergency landing but in the process are leaving a large swath of collateral damage in their wake.

I’m all too familiar with the ping-pong of emotions that comes with people who are crashing planes. I’ve had ill people in my life, who’s behavior leaves me feeling like I have a split personality as I try to cope with it. On a good day, when I’m in a good place, I find I’m charitable, forgiving and kind. I can see the bigger picture of the monsters of mental illness and addiction and I can separate the person who needs help from their actions. On my bad days, when their behavior is reprehensible and it threatens to crush me, I pull this quote up off the desktop of my computer…

I don’t know why–but this quote is like a life jacket for me. It’s funny enough to make me laugh (which I usually need if I’m digging for it) but it’s also true enough to remind me that I can’t fix everyone. No one can be helped who doesn’t want to be and I find that a very hard thing for me to accept when I love someone. I have that tendency to believe if I try a little bit harder, if I love a little bit more, I might make THE difference. I don’t want to feel like I’ve given up on someone I care about. But then I’m reminded that it isn’t fair for me to be someone else’s collateral damage, even if I love them. I’m supposed to love me too–and all the other people in my life who need me.

And while it’s never pleasant to watch a soul slowly stop breathing the sanity around them, I’d like to remind all those people who are feeling all the feelings right now, that some things are out of our control. When a plane is going down, the best chance you have at saving someone one else, is to put your own oxygen mask on first. You put on yours. Then you put on the mask of the people around you who want it and then you hold that last remaining mask in your hand and you hope that before it’s too late, that last person will decide they want to breath again.

And then you understand that holding out and holding on are two very different things.

Tags: addiction, air mask, collateral damage, holding on, holding out, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, mental illness

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I’m not a die-hard fan of Eminem, but there are quite a few of his songs I love to listen to. I’ve used one on THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY playlist and there are some on my running playlist. Some I just find captivating for their transparency and honesty.

Usually when I’m calling out my writing heroes, you’ll hear names like Laurie Halse Anderson, Lois Lowry, K.L. Going, John Green and A.S. King, but Eminem has snuck onto my list of people I’m a fan-girl of.

I LOVE his poetic ability to play with word and phrase. I think he has moments of utter brilliance and I am constantly trying to make unique thought and word connections the way he does.

“Now you get to watch her leave out the window
I guess that’s why they call it window pain.”

“Cause all I wanted to do is be the Bruce Lee of loose leaf.”

“Ironic ’cause I think I’m getting so huge I need a shrink.”

Seriously, the word play makes me swoon. But there’s more. This song in particular makes me think about being a writer–an artistic person with voices inside of her head. There have been so many times when I’ve loved yet hated the art in my soul and all that comes along with it. At the end of the day…

MONSTER

“I’m just relaying what the voice in my head’s saying
Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just friends with the monster that’s under my bed…”

Now you’ve got me curious–where do you get your unexpected inspiration?

Tags: connections, Eminem, Kim Sababatini, Kimberly Sabatini, Monster, words, writing

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Sat down last night to watch the SYTYCD Season 10 Finale only to find a political scheduling snafu. WHAT????

Fortunately, there is an encore performance on Friday. *breathes into a paper bag* And although I will get to watch the second half of the show, I do already know who won. But that’s okay, I consider all four dancers winners. I loved them all. But win or lose, there was one dancer I really connected with and was rooting for this year, and I’m tickled that he was the under dog who almost didn’t make it on the show. *fist pump*

Aaron Turner IS my favorite dancer from Season 10!!!!!

I could watch him tap all day. I adore his personality and his ability to morph into any character, no matter what direction the choreographer has taken things. He’s like a live wire out there, but it was this quiet moment that became my favorite of the season…

http://youtu.be/rEriefMg9ac

The cool part was, I was just as moved by the emotion of Aaron and Kathryn AFTER the performance, as I was by what they did on stage. They often say that writing is like opening up a vein and letting it all pour out onto the page. Dance is like that too. And the lines of this piece were so blurred and raw it was surreal. And I can’t be remiss and not mention the brilliant choreography of Stacey Tookey. Fabulous.

Part of the attraction to this piece involves my writing. I’ve created a scene in THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY that should feel just like this. In my head this is what I imagined occurring between two of my characters. Ultimately, I can only hope my words are able to create the same power and emotion that Aaron and Kathryn did. And on a side note, after seeing their chemistry, I want them to fall in love, get married and make dancing babies. <3

But gahhhh!!! Now I can’t believe I have to wait a whole year for Season 11. To make the time go faster, lets keep talking about Season 10. What was your favorite dancer this season? Favorite performance? My second favorite was the Top Ten Boys–SAND. LOVED that one, but I have a gazillion more of course. And what about a favorite guest judge? I’m a huge fan of Jesse Tyler, Jenna Elfman and Anna Kendrick. Want to see more of them next season. Minnie Driver was pretty good, too. And of course Paula and Debbie are icons. Favorite choreographers?? That’s hard. I can’t pick. Can you??????

Tags: Aaron Turner, dance, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, SYTYCD, The Art Stimulates Art Series, The Opposite of Gravity

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Back in the revision fort!

Yesterday I spent most of my time working on my newly returned notes on THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY from my critique partners. Woo hoo!  And here are some random thoughts that have popped into my head now that I’m delving back into the story…

* I love critique partners who not only tell me that I spelled something wrong or that I abused a semi-colon, but also give me a running commentary of what they’re thinking. It is so much fun and so helpful to see how their thought process unfolds as they interact with my words. This is true when you hear an OMG! I didn’t see that coming but it was awesome!  It’s also just as valuable when I get an Ummmm I have no idea what’s going on here???? Both of these are helpful and needed.

*After a couple weeks with my MS on the back burner, I love it again. Phew! Honestly, by the time I’d passed it off to my friends, I was pretty sick of it and convinced, that while it was vastly better than it was before, it was still poo.

No, I don’t mean that kind of Pooh.

Writers, when you look at something for too long–it begins to look like poo. And then you have to learn to walk away from the poo, because when you’re knee deep in the poo, you can not get perspective. Don’t be afraid to pass the poo to a friend. That’s what friends are for (In the writing world or if you’re a mom with a new infant) And usually, what you get back (book or baby) is never quite as bad as what you thought you gave away. Your brain needed a break and now it’s working again.

*Speaking of the brain, it’s incredible how it will not see your mistakes no matter how many times you look at your own words. Your brain can do weird and wonderful things. To prove my point…

Acocdrnig to an elgnsih unviesitry sutdy the oredr of letetrs in a wrod dosen’t mttaer, the olny thnig thta’s iopmrantt is that the frsit and lsat ltteer of eevry word is in the crcreot ptoision. The rset can be jmbueld and one is stlil able to raed the txet wiohtut dclftfuiiy.

It blows me away and sort of scares me how easy it was for me to read that.

*I still growl or moan when I’m made aware of a plot hole or an inconstancy, even if I know it’s absolutely true. I tackle it, but it comes with sound effects. *head thunk*

*I really dig writing metaphors. I need to make this a component in the conference proposal I’m working on. One of my favorite parts of the writing process.

*I can get so engrossed in the revisions that I forget to write my blog post until almost midnight. *yawn* But because I want to get back to working on it (with a fresh mind) I’d better stop having random thoughts and get my butt to bed.

Any words or wisdom or bits of insight from your revision fort?

And don’t forget, there is still a chance to win a signed copy of TOUCHING THE SURFACE for your local or school library. Enter HERE!

Tags: Contest, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, library, Pooh, revision, The Opposite of Gravity, Touching the Surface

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Right now I’m waiting for my lovely critique partners to turn around THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY so I can send it to my agent!!! *bites nails* If you haven’t already heard, publishing is all about hurry up and wait. LOL! Yup, get used to it. One day you’re rushing, the next day you’re waiting with the crickets chirping in the background. What am I doing while I’m in a holding pattern?

I think I mentioned how I’ve been doing some critiques. I love getting to help newbie writers when I have the time and I adore getting to read what my close friends have been working on. Of course, I’ve been doing laundry, especially since my dryer was broken for two weeks. I should probably be doing more, but seriously, it’s NOT FUN! And joy, bliss, rapture–I’m reading books for fun and books that inform my next project!!!! Woo hoo!!!! New projects are always soooo exciting. Preparing for a new project is just as fun as drafting, maybe even more fun. I plan on jumping into the writing part (which a dabbled with during NaNoWriMo) as soon as GRAVITY is officially out of my hands. And I FINALLY, I did some updating on my FAQ’s Page! I’ll be adding more, so if you have any burning questions feel free to ask them.

What do you do while you’re waiting in the writer’s twilight zone?

Tags: Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, New projects, revising, The Opposite of Gravity, Waiting, Wolfson Literary

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I’m going to make this as streamlined as I possibly can because it’s 10:00pm on my last cleanse day and even the cat food is starting to look really good. LOL! The sooner I go to bed the sooner I wake up to the world of normal eating. And although I’m talking about the cleanse, it’s not the cleanse itself that has made me behind tonight. I just hit the SEND button. The revised manuscript for THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY is in the hands of my critters!!!! This means it’s not long now until my agent has it in her hands. I’m thrilled and scared–a typical author reaction to just about everything in the publishing process.

So, obviously I’ve been cleansing AND revising, which has made me realize that both of these things are really quite similar. Both are actions that do a deep cleaning in order to arrive at a better version of the current product. I could wax poetic about all the weird connections but honestly I’d rather go drink some organic veggie broth. But since a lot of you have asked about the cleanse I thought I’d give a a few quick tips and take aways from the experience.

First of all, I used a 9 Day Isagenix Cleanse. I’ve used it before to good results. My last cleanse was probably close to two years ago. I decided to do one now because I had gotten to a place where I NEEDED to do this to feel better. I always know when I need to do it because this isn’t the kind of thing I enjoy doing, even though I enjoy the end result. If you’d like to find out more about it, I have a friend who is involved with the program. You can contact Stephanie HERE.

If you plan on doing this or any other cleanse, here’s a few tips I’ve come up with that are helpful…

*Wean yourself off of caffeine slowly before the cleanse. I don’t do a lot of caffeine and I had almost a 2 day headache and I think it was possibly from sugar withdrawal. Help yourself out by cutting back on at least some stuff incrementally.

*Go into the cleanse with the odds stacked in your favor. I timed the cleanse so I wasn’t doing it on a holiday or ski trip. I also put myself out publicly, which works for me. Making public declarations helps me to have that group mentality and it works. I also gave myself a sort of mantra to think about. I didn’t have a specific phrase, but I concentrated on mind over matter. I wanted to feel that I was driving my own ship. I also wanted to feel healthy again. I also thought about skinny people I really don’t like and used them as motivation. *grin*

*Specifically for Isagenix–after the first day and a half–I couldn’t stomach the chocolate wafers used on cleanse days. I couldn’t do another one. I opted for a teaspoon of sliced almonds and a half an apple or some organic veggie broth. Seriously, I will never eat another wafer again. Ever. Be a little flexible. I also added fresh and frozen organic fruits and veggies to my shake on the five shake days. I had no dessert all the way up until right before the last two cleanse days. I was dying for a piece of chocolate, so I had a few squares of organic 85% Green and Blacks chocolate. It helped me to not be overwhelmed by that craving during the last two days. Flexibility is cool as long as it’s not sabotage.

*On cleanse days I found that varying the temperature and flavors of my liquids helped a lot. In the mornings I put hot water with lemon in a thermal cup to sip. In the evening I used the organic veggie broth because dinner was the hardest for me to skip. I was both physically hungry and emotionally hungry at that point in the day.

*On cleanse days I rested if I needed to and if I felt good, I walked for 60 minutes (15 min mile) This was hard for me because I’m a runner and I hate toning things down, but I also knew that I’d burn through my energy too quick and probably make myself so hungry I’d cheat. The walking worked out really well and on the shake days I did my usual.

Time for the take aways:

I lost 6.66 lbs over the nine days and my BMI dropped by 1.7 Woo hoo!!! I lost weight and inches and my clothes are fitting very differently–I no longer feel like a sausage in a casing. Overall, I feel great and I also feel VERY un-stuck. Now I’m  very vested in not wasting all this effort by binging now that I’m done. I’ve shown myself what I’m capable of doing–normal, healthy  eating, by comparison, should be a breeze. Seeing and feeling results is very motivating so even though I won’t be doing another cleanse any time soon–I am really glad I did it.

Are you revising and/or cleansing? Any questions about either? I’m too tired and hungry to think of more questions–add your own.

Tags: 9 Day Cleanse, Food, Isagenix, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, revision, The Opposite of Gravity

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I wanted to talk to you a little bit about revision today. I’ve got some RANDOM thoughts that have been marinating and I thought I’d share them with you…

*Right now, revision is a blast because I’m in the slay-the-monster-zone. The only thing stopping me from having a kick-ass, completed, manuscript to send out to my agent, is the fact that I’m a rather slow monster slayer. LOL! Even so, it’s a fabulous feeling and I’m really enjoying it. I’m pulling out my laptop every chance I get. (Have revision fort, will travel.) Even though things are going great, I’m prone to self examination, so I’ve been wondering…Why is this section of the writing process one of my favorites?

I think it’s because it consists of 50% structure and 50% intuition. I’m not in a place where I’m just doing the brain-numbing task of fighting with my horrible spelling and grammar. I gleefully have more than the bones of the story down on paper. My rough drafts, riddled with their own issues, are a full story. This means I don’t have to work in the place where I have ALL the ideas in the world. That can be overwhelming. Right now I’m walking the line between being creative AND doing the nuts and bolts work. It’s a really good balance for me. Of course, it always helps that there’s a light at the end of my tunnel to guide me home.

*Lately I’ve heard a lot of words bandied around–procrastination, fear and writer’s block. These are words I’ve used from time to time. In fact I pull them out at at regularly scheduled intervals in my writing process LOL! We all do. But as I’ve been pondering the joy of revision, I’ve realized that there is something to be said for revising my process as well as my manuscripts. Sure, I can write volumes about how and why my second book has gotten away from me during the process of being a debut author. I can talk to you about my emotional writing style and why I approach writing the way I do. I’ve got a zillion fabulous posts in me about these topics. You’ll likely even get a few of them from time to time, but I’m a growing girl. (No, I’m not gonna get taller than 5 foot 4 inches–no matter what I write.) What I mean is, if I open myself up to it, I’ll learn to revise myself, the same way I do my words.

K.L. Going once said to me...you can’t put a book on the shelf if you don’t put it on paper. It’s not a book if it is in your head–it’s an idea. That was a big turning point for me. But I’m also coming to realize that I need to expand upon that nugget of truth. What will I be doing the minute I put THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY in the hands of my agent? I’ll be working on CHASING ADAPTATION! It’s not just enough to get the book on paper, it’s important to understand what role procrastination, fear and writer’s block play in that process. They can be speed bumps or they can be excuses. They can be challenges to overcome or they can be blog posts that keep a writer from doing the real work. You know what I choose. I am discovering where and when to push myself to be the writer I want to be.

*This next thought is going to sound counter productive to my last one, but if you were paying attention you know that balance is important. I just suggested that it’s necessary for me to push myself harder through the parts of the writing and revising  that are naturally hard for me. It’s true. It resonates. I believe it. But I’m also suggesting that an important part of revision is what I think of as The Feel. It reminds me of my son at his music lessons. As he’s learning the guitar, his instructor doesn’t want him to look at his fingers while he’s playing. He needs to know where his fingers are supposed to go. Playing has a feel. I had a very similar experience when I learned how to type. I spent lots of time looking at my fingers in the beginning, not believing that I’d ever be able to stop doing that. Then one day I realized I could hit those keys without thinking about where they were. Writing and revision are like that. They have a feel. You DO have to push yourself to show up when the work is hard. You DO have to understand you won’t always be comfortable in the different phases of this process. But you also shouldn’t be trying to push a square peg into a round hole. No one benefits from that. Not the peg. Not the hole. Writing is art–there are parts that have to be felt to be done “right.”

*Agents and editors have special-super-hero-vision and can see a manuscript in ways that I can’t even begin to comprehend. They have a whole different skill set than I do, which means I want them to pull my manuscript apart. Their work is a pivotal step in the process of changing a manuscript (a solitary endeavor) into a book (a collaborative event.) BUT, even though I want my agent and my editor to pull my words apart, in order to get to an even better version of my story, I still need to bring my very best work to the table. Maybe it’s just me, but I liken the revision process to shopping for a very awesome birthday present for a friend. Sending out a completed manuscript is like giving a gift that is well thought out, nicely wrapped, usable, exciting and timeless. Sure, it’s about me too–a good book is going to benefit me as much as the agent and the editor, but when I’m working on the revision, I find myself having a sense of intimacy with my first new readers and that makes the process really wonderful for me.

*Or there are times when you’re revising and it feels like a you’re wrestling a giant octopus. Just ask my friend Amy. But hey, the cool part about that is you can wear those tentacle burns like a badge of honor when your done. *fist pump* So, what I guess I’m saying is that revision is awesome…even when it isn’t.

Any thoughts on revision? What do you love? What do you hate? Have you ever eaten octopus? I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m off to the revision fort!

Tags: agent, Amy Nichols, Chasing Adaptation, Editor, Fear, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, Procrastination, revision, The Opposite of Gravity, writing

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I made my self-imposed deadline of getting the first half of THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY off to my Beta’s last night. (Chapters 1-22)Woo hop!!!! I was doing great on time, when Scrivener decided it didn’t want to compile and convert to Word. So needless to say, the last email was sent at 11:58. *head thunk* I could have been to bed a lot earlier if it hadn’t been for technical difficulties. But I did it, which felt very important, but in order to meet that deadline, I went to bed without writing this post. Which means it isn’t brilliant and full of puppies farting rainbows and unicorns, but hopefully the manuscript is–which in the grand scheme of things is much more important.

Of course, since I’m DEEP in revision mode, all I want to do all day is revise. And today is not the easiest day for doing that. I have the rescheduled hair appointment from Wednesday’s snow day and since I look like a Yeti–we can’t miss that. I’m also going away skiing this weekend and while I love these trips, I seriously hate packing. Maybe it’s the three boy thing, but I always feel a my excitement doesn’t truly get started until I’m in the car LOL! These are all good things, but how do I keep and sustain the BOOM on for this revision when I have other things to do.

*Stolen moments–they add up. I know this because when I started writing TOUCHING THE SURFACE my boys were ages 2, 4, and 6. I had nothing but stolen moments.

*Mullet time–this is my term for writing and working in my head. I find brain farting on the computer labor intensive. Some people put their butt in their chair and work out their issues with their fingers. I’ve never really done that. My fingers are sooooo slow compared to my ability to flip things around in my head. I’ve learned that mullet time means nothing if I don’t take the stolen moments to get what’s now in my head on paper, but I’ve also learned that when I sit down to write after thinking things through, my time is a lot more productive.

*I use music. I know without a doubt that I’m in the BOOM ZONE when I can’t listen to an audiobook. And I LOVE listening to audiobooks. But when I’m in the BOOM ZONE I can only listen to one thing–my playlist for that manuscript. I might add or take away songs as the MS develops, but in essence it is the soundtrack for my mullet time which really helps me make the most of my stolen moments.

And while this has been fun, I really have a million things to do LOL! So I’ll leave you with a random song off THE OPPOSITE OF GRAVITY playlist…

http://youtu.be/sJ1UieOBeMs

How do you make the writing happen when you’re in the BOOM ZONE? And what is the Tropic of Sir Galahad? Anyone?

Tags: BOOM ZONE, Deadlines, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, revision, Scrivener, The Opposite of Gravity

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And that folks is how it happens. BOOM! One day I’m trucking along and–well–that’s a lie I wasn’t really trucking along–it was more like trudging. So–day after day I’m trudging along–really slogging through my revisions. Of course I do this with a little happy smile on my face. I distinctly remember making a broad statement about loving revision so much more than drafting. *head thunk*  Yup I love it, yet I keep finding myself trudging and slogging and wondering why it feels like I’m trying to push a square peg through a round hole. Yeah. Just. Like. That. And I get about 200 pages into the revision (that is full of trudging and slogging) and I get really tired. Not from the writing. Mostly because I stayed up too late watching The Biggest Loser. Don’t judge me–it’s motivating. Now it’s trudging, slogging, tipping. Yawn. (And just so you know–my brain never fully shuts off during a mid-day tip, so it doesn’t really count as a nap. I call it a brain storming session, okay?) But I digress. I’m at  the point where the fixes to the MS aren’t as easy as the earlier ones and I dump 3 chapters. Just like that. And in honor of all that trudging and slogging or maybe because of it–I seriously just highlight that sucker and hit cut. I know I have another copy somewhere–dear god I hope I do. I mean in an emergency my agent has it, right? Anyway, back on task. I cut those chapters because I know I need new material. And that’s a good thing, but gosh darn it, since I’m a slow reviser with a crappy memory for detail, I don’t even remember all the changes I’ve made up until this point. How do I know if I’m making this puppy behave or if he’s just going to a different corner to pee on the floor and make another mess when I’m not looking?

Are you following me? Probably not–but just pretend because that’s what I was doing while I was revising–just going through the motions. Fake it till you make it. BIC or BOC (Butt on couch. It’s softer.) I need to get my bearing so I can move forward. I need to find my puppy! So, I back it up just a chapter or two and start reading. Then suddenly…

BOOM!

I repeat. BOOM! I don’t know how else to explain it. The world shifts from black and white to color. The puzzle pieces fall into place. The baby starts sleeping through the night. I don’t know why it happens, but suddenly there’s no longer trudging or slogging. My brain is firing on all cylinders. All the lights are shining on my Christmas tree. I’m tapping into something. And I want to weep for the sheer joy of knowing that I hadn’t imagined that a place like this really does exist. I HAVE been here before! I do know how to write a damn book and make it progressively better.

That’s the only way I can describe it. It feels insane, but maybe that’s because it IS insane. The act of writing is a product of dedication, hard work, persistence and a whole bunch of other SAT words. It’s showing up when you’re trudging and slogging and not sure you’re really an author. But the magic of writing–the BOOM–that’s a very different thing. That’s something bizzare, like observing a puppy in the corner, ready to pee and then he doesn’t–instead, he farts rainbows and unicorns.

Seriously, it’s just like that.

And I’ll be honest, I don’t know how long the magic puppy farts will stay. They seem to have their own agenda, but that’s the beauty of intermittent reinforcement. Once you know the unicorns and rainbows are out there–you can’t stop sniffing puppy butts. You just trudge and slog and tip while breathing in deeply and hoping.

I could wax poetic about this for hours, but I need to wrap this up–wouldn’t if be awful if I blew all my magic on the sheer awesomeness of this post. (Come on–you know you loved it.) Okay, you loved the puppy pics–same difference. LOL! Off to revise!

PS–I only have one question. Have YOU smelled the puppy farts?

PPS–When I tip later today it was totally because I stayed up late to write this post. It has nothing to do with The Biggest Looser. Besides–I’m a winner. Just go ask the unicorns.

Tags: Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, Puppy farts, revision, writing process

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Yesterday I was keeping my promise to myself and focusing on revisions. I even hauled my laptop and marked-up manuscript to the lobby of the dance studio. I was kinda pumped because I was able to focus and move through my notes while sitting in the middle of three classrooms that were blaring different sets of music and instructions. I was in the zone. How could that be? There have been days when I’ve had the perfect work conditions and get less done. *head thunk* I sound like I’m asking for an answer from you, but I’m not. I know the truth. For me its a combination of being ready and being determined.

READINESS: The truth is there are times when I just don’t know what to write. And for some of those times, it’s good for me to take a moment or two or however long it is, to mull over what I’m doing. I know I need to let the thoughts that sit in my finger tips, tumble around in my deeper places. I believe there is more to me than I’m capable of understanding and sometimes I just have to trust myself. I’m learning and changing and growing constantly and all of that takes time. But in all fairness, there are moments when I’m just scared that I suck and I think I’m not ready. Book 2 is kinda hard folks. It’s not unlovable, but it’s kind of like the second time you get pregnant and you realize it’s not going to be anything like the first time where you got to sleep when you were tired and people pampered you and stuff. Book 2 is like…Hey–I know you’re tired but you have a two year old with a fever and you need to get up every 45 minutes because they are crying and uncomfortable. And I know you have a sensitive stomach right now, but the baby just vomited across six rooms. And to top that all off, don’t expect a baby shower either or time for a spa day… Yeah, Book 2 is kind of like that, but different. Word vomit is a little milder on the stomach. LOL!

DETERMINATION: I’m absolutely a person who loves to work from home with my own schedule–I like my creative freedom. I like to be able to juggle my family life. I like to run. I like to have less stress. I like to avoid laundry by doing social media. BUT–I benefit from having some manageable deadlines. The people pleaser in me responds to that. Give me too much, too quickly and I will get it done (I’m one determined and competitive person on the inside) but I’ll be reduced to sludge. I’ll burn out like a shooting star. I’m not a race horse who responds well to spurs in my side, but lead me to the starting line and tell me that I’m not as good as the other horses and I’ll run my ass off to prove it isn’t true. There is a kernel of strength within me that gets me over that finish line. I need a little push, but not a beating. That’s when determination works best for me.

So what happens when readiness and determination collide in a perfect storm? Well, I get stuff done. I mean–I’m still scared. I’m pissing in my shoes every time I stop to think about it all too closely. BOOK 2!!!!!! Failure is such a bigger target than success. But I’m at that point where I know one thing for sure. There is something that scares me more than writing a bad book–it’s writing no book at all. It’s that simple and THAT just makes me laugh and revise. Ready and determined.

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”
Bill Cosby

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
Michael Jordan

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill

“The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.”

Buddha

Now I’m totally inspired for another day of revisions!!! What calms your fear of failure? What gets in your head and keeps you from moving forward? What’s your best overcoming failure story? Got another good failure/success quote to share? Have you been pregnant a second time????

Tags: Book 2, Failure, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, Pregnancy, revision, Success, The Opposite of Gravity, writing

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