Yesterday I hit another milestone. I finished the first round of my first big revision for my editor. *little cheer* Don’t get too excited, it’s not done and ready to go yet, but it feels very good because all the major changes have been set in motion. The bones are in place. Now I’m left to deal with the fine-tuning, fleshing-out, trimming, elaborating, weaving, hole-plugging and the butterfly effect. We all know what that is–alter one little thing and there is an avalanche of small changes to accommodate that bigger adjustment.
Part of knowing how to make all those secondary fixes is using beta readers. Or as I like to call them–my “Crit Crew.” Think of a Pit Crew for writers. They do so much. They catch the obvious like spelling, grammar and words that Kim just decided to make up. They tell you when they’re confused and why. They squeal with delight, letting you know you’re on the right path and sometimes they look at you and say…WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING??? (This is always a fun traumatizing time in the revision process.)
This kind of slap upside the writer’s head usually comes in earlier drafts of the story. It’s an important wake-up call. When several people in your Crit Crew tell you that the purple sparkly vampire cows have to go, you start to get a theme, a strong sense of what direction your writing must travel. (Even if you secretly think that the purple sparkly vampire cows are the next big thing.)
But thankfully, I’m not at that “get slapped upside my head” phase in my revision. I don’t think there are too many purple sparkly vampire cows left to vanquish at this point. *phew* But I’m finding that there is something new to learn from the Crit Crew…
I’ve worked VERY HARD to learn how to take constructive criticism about my writing. Trust me, this is a life long challenge and I’m still learning. If you know me well, you shook your head when I decided to go into a field where constant rejection would be my best friend. You may have suggested stock in a tissue factory. In my humble opinion, I think I’ve grown tremendously. I think that I’ve improved this area of weakness in my writing and in my life. But now I’ve got to do something different. I have to learn when to say no. Because despite my inability to be criticized, I’m also a people pleaser. (Umm yes, a lovely combination.) Now I have to figure out what changes will mean improvement and which ones need to stay because they are my VOICE. So easier said than done.
When I start to get overwhelmed, I come back to one very simple and UTTERLY FRIGHTENING PREMISE –there are always going to people who don’t like part or all or my book and *gasp* even me. *head thunk* I can’t control this. I know, because I did the research just incase new discoveries in the field of mind control have been made. So what can I do?????
The only thing I can. I remember that it was my voice and my way of thinking that wrote this book to start with. After all the advice and suggestions and personal growth have been done–I can stand by me.
No, I won’t be afraid maybe just a little bit afraid, just as long as you stand by me…
And if that doesn’t work–walk softly and carry a BIG carrot.
I’ve been really looking forward to today. Everyone is back to our regularly scheduled school program. I’m in dire need of some regularity. But, as I was thinking about the boys going back to school again, I had a little flashback…
Shhhhh….don’t tell anyone, but when I was a teenager I went through a *ahem* giant Grease 2 phase. Yeah, I know *hangs head in shame* You want to pluck me in the head and see if something is dinging around between my ears. I apologize. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I do know that I can still sing a whole lot of lyrics from repeated showings at my best friend’s house. My parents never had HBO, so I really had to make an effort to watch this movie over and over and over again. *shudders*
So what’s my point? No–now that the kids are out the front door and I do have HBO, I don’t plan on an all-day Grease 2 love fest. But I’m reminded that if you win the heart of a teenager or a “slightly” older woman still working through some of her teenage crap, you might have a fan for life. How do I know this??? Yeah, I’d still watch that movie and sing along in a heartbeat. I would try to break away, but my eyes would be drawn to the screen like I was a rubber-necker on the highway. Yes, I know it’s bad–a really, really bad movie. But it brings back great memories and reminds me that I think life would probably be a lot better if it really was a musical–even a bad one.
Today is a big revision day. I’m going to keep in mind that my words have power and I have to make each one count. And although I’ll take a those fans anyway I can get them–if I can manage it–I would rather have my writing stand the test of time just a little better than Grease 2. *grin*
So what dopey movie do you have hiding in your closet?
In my last post I told you how I was headed to the city with my girls from the dance studio.
I also announced that since I wasn’t sneaking in any writing time, I’d be mulling stuff over and soaking in the teen-heavy atmosphere. You know–doing a little research. But here’s the thing, it’s never that simple and it makes me so happy to tell you why–it’s because they aren’t that simple.
The truth is that they’re amazing. They listen, they want, they share, they grow, they change. They’re afraid and brave and silly and serious and they could care less about boys–even when it’s all they think about. At the end of the day, they are so much more than what people give them credit for. They want things–real things.
Important things.
I’m discovering that I don’t just want to write a good book. I want to make a connection. I want to move people the same way that they get to me. I want to rise to my own occasion–and for that–I’ll need to be a better writer. Just like them…
I want important things and anything less isn’t worth writing about.
Right now my writing journey is focused on 1st round revisions for my editor and all weekend, when life is crazy busy with family and only snatches of writing, I find myself looking forward to Monday. It’s when I immerse myself completely in my manuscript. It’s become akin to waiting for a good show on TV–a really good show like So You Think You Can Dance or the Closer. I‘m not going to lie, revision used to confuse the heck out of me. It wasn’t a great TV night. Okay–I dreaded it. It was sort of like looking at this…
I could see two face and people kept telling me that there was also a vase. Seriously–a VASE in the picture too! And yet, I couldn’t find it. Well–I could see the vase in real life–but not the revision vase. LOL! Then things changed and I started to notice the revision vase too.
How did I get to the place where I could do revisions and maybe even like them? Here’s what I had to do…
I had to learn to be a better writer. Period. Just because this statement is punctuated with a big fat period, doesn’t mean that it’s a one-step kind of a thing. Learning to be a better writer is a multi-step process.
*READ-Read in your genre and read out. Read for pleasure–to know what transports you into another world–but also read as a writer. Study how the magic and the mistakes are made. Lastly, read books on craft. I discovered so much about revision that I didn’t know from reading what other professionals in the field had to share.
*WRITE-Talking about writing is not the same as writing. Just like talking about exercise doesn’t get you the same results as doing it. You might have to put your manuscript in a drawer for a couple weeks, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be writing a blog post, a poem, a picture book, a short story, a letter to the editor or a new book. Just write, because the more you do it, the better you get at it. For arguments sake, you should know that I do A LOT of mulling things over in my head. It works for me, but you must still take what is going on in the old noggin’ and place it on the paper. I simply think, that some people like to do their thinking with their fingers and some people like to do it in their head space. The end result remains–lots of writing.
*LISTEN-Use your ears and a little bit more. It’s so hard to listen. I know, I’m a blabber mouth and you’ve got to be quick to get a word in edge wise with me. I’m always trying to be a better listener. It’s a struggle. But I also mean that you need to listen with trust. I haven’t met a lot of people in the children’s lit business that are trying to cut me down. I find that most of the people that I’ve bumped into on this journey have good intentions and they try to help each other out. This doesn’t mean that their advice is always right for me, but it does mean that they may have something useful to tell me about my writing even if I don’t make that particular change. I think there’s a big difference in how I take suggestions when I feel defensive and when I feel safe. When I feel safe, I trust that all criticism is about my work and not about me as a person. I feel like, even when I’m not on the same page as the person doing my critique, they have my best intentions in mind. Because I get so much more out of those kind of interactions, I really make an effort to try to listen with trust. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, amazing things can happen.
*LOVE-I know you think I’m going to tell you to love your story; love your characters. I thought about it, but I think that’s too easy. You must do that and we all know it. You can’t spend that much time with folks you don’t love. I think the concept of love is more than that–I think you have to love yourself. Of course this is my freaky method of revision, and we know that everyone has their own little quirky ways that work for them, but writers are also thieves and in case you do want to steal a tip or two, this is the one that works the best for me. Love yourself enough to be a little afraid of what you write…
What does that mean? I think the very best writing comes when you explore the hardest to reach parts of yourself. I use my writing to focus on a lot of things that I don’t have the courage to poke at in the light of day. I’m learning to love myself enough to believe, that the things I think, are worth having a voice. The hard part of this is that at some point (Fall 2012) I will be throwing that voice out into the public, where I will no longer be able to completely control what happens to it. Will the reader see two faces or maybe a vase? Will the cashier at the grocery store analyze what’s in my cart with what’s in my book? Maybe people will see something more than my words, something I never intended. Or maybe I did know what I was thinking, but I didn’t let myself see it. Perhaps they’ll love what they read, or perhaps they’ll want to ban it. I don’t know what people will think and it’s scary.
But what I do know is that it’s even harder to write from a superficial place. I know because I’ve done it and that journey led me to a place where I didn’t write at all. Having spent a significant amount of time in the “Land Without a Voice” I know that there are bigger things to be afraid of. So when you’re revising, love yourself enough to be a little afraid of what your write. If you do, your revision might take you from that black and white optical illusion to this…
We’ve established that I’m t-i-r-e-d…so I won’t belabor the point. Instead I’ll focus on the omelette station. Honestly I have to focus really hard because omelette is one of those words that never “looks” right when I start typing it. But I’m blabbering. I do that when I’m t-i-r-e-d. Anyway, I love a good omelette station and Sunday morning I knew that there was one is in my near future-BRUNCH! I also knew this because the staff of the SCBWI Eastern PA are like conference fairy godmothers. But in the meantime, while I waited for my yummy omelette, I grabbed a coffee and a cinnamon muffin the size of my head and I was all set to listen to Lee Harper.
The Sabatini house is full of Lee Harper Fans. We fell in love with his illustrations for Leslie Helakoski’s WOOLBUR. Lee’s forthcoming picture book, in which he is also the author, looks fantastic! THE EMPEROR’S COOL CLOTHES.
Lee reminded us that writers and illustrators really aren’t that different, we both look to the world around us for inspiration and we both have to practice our craft in order to become good at it. He also wisely noted that sometimes the work we do for children is just meant to make them laugh.
Time for a little Editor and Agent Q&A…
From left to right…
1. Liesa Abrams-Executive Editor at Alladin, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. 2. Ruta Rimas-Assistant Editor, Balzer +Bray, Harper Collins Children’s Books. 3. Dianne Hess-Executive Editor of Scholastic Press. 4. Joan Slattery-Literary Agent, Pippin Properites. 5. Robert Agis-Associate Editor at Sterling Children’s Books. 6. Jennifer Rofe-Literary Agent, Andrea Brown. 7. John Rudolph-Literary Agent, Dystel & Goderich Literary Management.
In addition to answering questions posed by the audience, they were the panel judging First Pages, which is a look at the very first page of 3 picture books, middle grade and young adult manuscripts. Hearing how everyone responded to an anonymous first page of material was a very helpful experience. I was a reader for the three middle grade pieces, which explains why I wasn’t taking the best notes throughout the Editor/Agent session. *grin*
In addition, there was also an illustrator’s First Look session. Lee Harper judged it along with Alison Impey. Alison is an award winning designer, currently Senior Designer at Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. I had a chance to really hang out with Alison over the course of the conference and she’s wonderful. Curiosity got the best of me and I plied her with millions of questions about her job and I found it fascinating. If I was an illustrator, I would LOVE to work with her. Alas…that will never happen, so we will just be conference buddies.
OMELETTE STATION!!!!! Yes, I should have taken a picture, it last longer. But since I didn’t I now need to interrupt the writing of this blog and go make my own breakfast. But wait– before I go–it’s a quick trip back to the Golf Bag Holder…
Jodi Moore and I make a pilgrimage back to the Golf Bag Holder every year. This is the official site of where we became friends and critique partners. Perhaps it was our 1 yard line. If you’re not familiar with the 1 yard line–Donna Gephart talked about it in her presentation. She said that at those moments we’re tempted to give up, we just may be standing on the 1 yard line–so close to our goal.
Our first Poconos Conference was shortly after my father-in-law passed away. I’d signed up for a critique session and never managed to get my pages out on time. I was kicking myself. I’d let myself miss an opportunity and all I could picture was my future editor or agent never meeting me because I’d missed my chance. I tend to be a little bit hard on myself sometimes. *grin* Jodi also didn’t have a critique, so we decided to spend the down time working together and reading each other’s manuscripts. We both wrote picture books and young adult and just happened to have our YA’s with us. All the comfy couches were taken and the weather was cold and rainy so we decided that this really uncomfortable bench was going to be our little crit corner.
Jodi told me that I was the very first person to ever lay eyes on her novel. I think that’s a very special thing. She also told me something else…she’d been writing picture books since her boys were little and she just wasn’t sure if this was ever going to work out for her. I think she might have been on that 1 yard line. As we later learned she was also in a Golf Bag Holder. *grin*
I recommend that everyone spend some time in the Golf Bag Holder. We really do go back and sit in it, but if you can’t make it to the Shawnee Inn in the Poconos, that’s okay. I’m talking figuratively. When you’re in a hard and uncomfortable place in your writing, don’t be afraid to share that with someone. Sit there and tell the truth and speak your fears, because you will find that we all have them. You’re not all alone–out on the 1 yard line. And like me, you just might figure that out the most important thing of all…
If given a choice between having the book and having the friend–I’d pick the friend EVERY time.
And the cool thing is that I know that she would too. *heart squish*
What’s the best thing that ever happened to you at a conference?
P.S. Because it took me so long to get my post completed today I can now jump up and down and say that Jodi and I are officially heading out to the LA SCBWI Conference in August…do you think they have a Golf Bag Holder?
