Lately I’ve been thinking about Quirky Don’t Want To’s. Never heard of them before? I’m not surprised, I like to make stuff up whenever it’s convenient. In my world, the Quirky Don’t Want To’s are the bizarre, unpleasant things that cross the line–the line between chores and activities I enjoy doing or will tolerate AND stuff I avoid at all costs. Need an example? Here’s a few…
*I will do laundry all day long, I’ll even fold it. But it’s that last step–putting it AWAY that I find soul crushing. It’s the reason, if you stop by for an unexpected visit, you’ll find sheet and towels on my dinning room table. *sigh* It’s festive, right?
*Raking leaves or cutting back bushes. I’m like a sculptor when I pile and prune, it’s an act of art, but don’t make me bag the leaves and stems. *pouts* The yard work is the clean up. The clean up of the clean up is cruel and unusual punishment. Where’s the yard elf?
*If you feed me, I will help clean up and do the dishes at your house, but I really don’t want to divvy up the leftovers. There’s way to much pressure, like container choices or what you want to keep for lunch tomorrow. And what you secretly don’t want to keep. And what about what I want to take? Or even worse, what I want to take, but shouldn’t because my pants are getting too tight. And opps were those your good containers and now I have to get them back to you? Ummm that’s not going to happen.
*I love to help out at my kids’ school when I’m comfortable. (Think book, writing, soccer, dance related activities etc…) I do know I sometimes have to do things outside my comfort zone. (Like the 8th grade Pizza Fundraiser.) And once I learned how to do it, all of my skills from working at Denny’s came right on back. (watch me handle a tray of food people!) But DO NOT make me the chair of anything or an officer in the PTA. Not if you know what’s good for you. I am not an organized, responsible adult. I am a SPAZ who masquerades as a parent.
*If you are MY child, I will clean up any and all disgusting fluids or solids that get ejected from your body during illness and injury. Not my favorite activity, but I’ll cope–IF YOU ARE MY CHILD. I solemnly swear. But the deal breaker is whining. I will sit with you, cuddle with you, jump up and down a 1,000 times to get stuff that makes you feel better. I’ll clean up the ejected stuff. I’ll even look at your broken bones and skin that needs to be sewn back together. Unless you are a whiner. Just a note with broken bones and flapping skin, I have been known to get really light headed once the adrenaline wears off, so try to make sure I land someplace soft. Thank you.
*I would rather pick up food off the floor of my kitchen and wipe the crumbs and dog hair off of it and eat it (30 second rule and all) than clean toilets. I hate cleaning toilets. Maybe the fact that I’ve birthed THREE squirters has something to do with that. Did I tell you about that time in the middle of the night when the toilet seat was down… Yeah–I don’t want to clean toilets. I’d rather do all the other Quirky Don’t Want To’s than clean the stupid toilets. I am not kidding. Those of you out there that think cleaning the bowl is calming and therapeutic? I think you’ve got a screw loose, but you’re totally invited over for relaxation therapy any time you’d like. *grin*
And just so you know, the more I contemplate the Quirky Don’t Want To’s–the faster I think of more. They are like dust bunnies, multiplying right before my very eyes! Oh, look there’s that screw you were missing LOL!
In order to stop thinking about my own quirks, I need to fixate on yours, so tell me what’s on your Quirky Don’t Want To List…
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