The Cat Lady Who Tried to Write a Book and Failed Epically?

Filed under: Pondering

So it’s 52 days until TOUCHING THE SURFACE comes out and I’m in limbo–ironic since I’ve written a book about the afterlife LOL! But yes, I’m in a rather strange place at the moment. I seem to be fluctuating between insane excitement and certain dread. I dream about walking into a book store and seeing my book on the shelf. I imagine hearing from readers who love the story. I can visualize my future career and it ROCKS! Some days I can’t believe how stinkin’ lucky I am.

But all it takes is ten minutes.

Yup, that quickly I can go from confidence and bliss to thumping my forehead against my desk, knowing with absolute certainty that I will never sell another book again. Realizing that my book stinks to the high heavens and all my dreams will be crushed forever. There is even complete conviction that one day, people will point and snicker at me and say.. Isn’t that the cat lady who tried to write a book and FAILED EPICALLY? Sad…very sad. They say she’s lost her mind.

From hearing my fellow debut authors talk, I know that this is a pretty normal experience, but honestly it feels a bit bizarre. In order to try to combat the crazy, I’ve tried to come up with a list of MY universal truths to help me put things in perspective. Since writing them down will help me, and because I can’t leave you thinking about me as the cat lady, I thought you might like to hear them too.

*Change can be scary but it doesn’t mean it’s bad.

*You can’t control the things you can’t control.

*There is always something else you could be doing, but that doesn’t mean you should be doing it.

*The best place to live is the moment.

*Stop comparing yourself to other people.

*Everyone is suspicious of people who try to get outside the box, but they usually admire the ones who make it.

*Not everyone will like you–get over it.

*There are people who show you unexpected kindness that you don’t think you deserve. Instead of pushing it away, accept it and try to give it away to someone else who thinks they might not deserve it.

*Try to eat healthy, get enough sleep and exercise.

*Even in your most insecure moments, keep your list of dreams where you can see them.

*Go with the flow.

*Remember why you dream the things  you do.

*Always strive to grow.

*If all else fails, eat chocolate ice cream and run more.

Any other words of wisdom for the crazy cat lady? Come on…talk me down people.

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  1. Oh hugs, honey. I am on the other side of that fence, wishing so badly that an editor sees the potential in my book (and series) that I can’t even imagine feeling this way if I make it on the other side 🙂 Yet I know how common it is. Everyone feels this way! Your list is especially thorough but I always add “Turn jealousy or envy into admiration”. There’s always that moment when I’m jealous of a new author and then feel horrible for feeling that way. I just try to turn it around and feel admiration for them! They’re someone to look up to.

    You can do this! And you’ll be great, I know it.

    • Exactly–we are all jealous of something. It’s what we do with it that defines us. <3 Keep that chin up because I know that you'll find the perfect match. (((hugs)))

  2. <3 <3 <3

  3. Okay, Kim. Here are some more words of wisdom:

    If you follow your dreams, the money will come. If you follow the money, you’ll lose your dreams.

    It’s not what people call you, but what you answer to.

    It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

    The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

    Looking forward to your book.

    Paula Lanier

  4. I remember the first time I met you at Kelly Going’s class and you were wondering if those ten pages you had submitted was a story. It was more than that–it was a book! To the SCBWI members who come to our meetings every month, you have become a local success story, someone to admire, someone to learn from, and a mentor too:) Nothing or no one can take THAT away. Chin up, walk proud, you are an AUTHOR, and you rock!


  5. LOL! An incredibly timely post for me. I love all these! Well, maybe only the first half of the last one. 😉

    • LOL! Part of the reason that this experience has been so chock full of good things is the Wolf Pack. <3

  6. Hi, I’m Raley and I’m an Anxiety Addict, lol. Seriously. I have it under control most days now, but when I was young, my dad (a fellow sufferer) gave me some really good advice: Tell yourself everyday, no matter what is happening, I really am one lucky son of a gun.

    Even on days when the trash man comes a half hour early and you didn’t put it out the night before, you tell yourself this, because if you are alive at all, you are lucky. Hard work is important. But luck and blessings drive EVERYTHING. One minute you may be down, and the next up, but you know eventually you will come down again. Don’t worry about it. You’re one lucky son of a gun. Things come back around. You already intrinsically know this.

    My first career path was in Nursing. I learned a little saying in training for patient care, I think it may be a Kubler-Ross, but not positive about that… anyway… “Change is neither inherently good or bad.” This is what we tell patients when helping them establish new routines that will hopefully give them better lives. The change isn’t the problem, it’s how we react to it.

    Easier said than done though, huh? 😉 ((hugs)) You are a marvelous person. I’m so excited for you and I’m sure it’s wonderful book. Can’t wait!

    • I just want to squeeze you. I used to be a lot more anxious and I’ve definitely grown and changed for the better. The awesome thing is that your take on change is a very big theme in SURFACE. Obviously it is something that I’m working on in my own life. I have a feeling that we’ll do okay because we are always stretching and growing no matter how scary it is. (((hugs)))

  7. I could never see you as the crazy cat lady, Kim. And you WILL sell more books. You’ve already sold this one. (I’m with S.J., wishing I could be in your position.) And I am so deliriously happy for you!

    Believe in yourself!

    Oh, and Winston Churchill said: “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

    • I am loving these wonderful words of wisdom. <3 Joanne--I know that you're turn is just around the corner.

  8. Now, wait a minute. Where would we all be without a few crazy cat ladies in the world??

    =P But seriously. You have nothing to worry about. Your story is wonderful. How do I know? Well, someone liked it enough to represent it. And someone liked it enough to publish it. So bam! You’ve already got two someones, and I am quite sure you have, and will have, many many more!

    I am so excited for you because you seem like such a fun, happy, laidback person, and that is fantastic. I am really looking forward to your book coming out (there’s a sale, right there!) <3

    P.S. I love the wisdom you posted, and the wisdom others have shared. You are all so wise, =3

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. And I love being surround by such wise people–it fills me up!

  9. Great post! You’re not a cat lady. If one was to be a crazy cat lady, it would be cool to be like the one from The Simpsons, who literally throws cats at people and mumbles streams of gibberish. That would be pretty sweet, except for the cat abuse part (maybe replace cats with over-sized gummy cats).

    I love your compilation of wisdom quotes ^_^

    And thank you for the lovely swag!!! Love the paper cranes! I’m going to share some of those pretty bookmarks with my book-buddies. And I’m going to send those 2 postcards to two libraries that I’m familiar with and I filled-out an online title suggestion form at The Boston Public Library (they are pretty awesome about taking patron suggestions, and have ordered a lot of my suggestions) website.

    Here are some other good quotes:

    “And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”- Sylvia Plath

    “Criticism is just someone else’s opinion. Even people who are experts in their fields are sometimes wrong. It is up to you to choose whether to believe some of it, none of it, or all of it. What you think is what counts.”- Rodolfo Costa

    “I’m not too fond of the hard work and the constant battle with self-doubt that goes on when I write, but I figure that’s part of the territory.”- Robert Sheckley

    “I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.”- Brittany Renée

    • You are…I can’t find the words…I shall hug you instead. And the quotes–LOVE THEM! <3

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