Odds Are I’m Mean, Cranky and Hungry Right Now

Filed under: Check-it-out, Pondering, Wolfson Literary

For awhile now, I’ve been suffering with what Chuck Wendig likes to call, Authorial Sludgebody. I love the terminology–it sounds as bad as it feels. I know of which I speak. I’ve got a stubborn case of it and it looks exactly like this…

Fat in Office


Authorial Sludgebody

Now, because I believe in being observant to the signs around me, a couple weeks ago when one of my friends was posting about doing a 9 Day Isagenix Cleanse–I knew what I had to do. *mops forehead dramatically*

I’d been toying with the idea of doing a cleanse again (I’ve done them before) but I hadn’t really worked up the motivation to do more than contemplate it. (This itself, being an actually sign that I really do need to clean out my toxic sludge.) So, I ordered my 9 Day cleanse and began looking for the perfect time to do it.

Today is that day.

Nothing says cleanse like the after effects of a weekend with an all you can eat buffet. *moan* I am more than ready to do this!!!! I’m PUMPED!!!! But in just a few short hours I won’t be ready and I won’t be pumped. I’ll be mean and cranky and hungry. I’ll be in heavy-duty sugar with drawl.

That’s why I’m posting this on my blog. I respond to public guilt and humiliation. If I know you are watching me, or even if I just think you are, I will do what I have to do. I will toe the line. I will believe that I can do anything for 9 days and be better for it on the other side. Or something like that–seriously I think my stomach is eating itself. Plus–I always know that a healthier me is also a healthier author. It’s a fact. I’ve seen it in action. Of course the healthier me doesn’t show up until you’ve had a good dose of the mean, cranky, hungry me, but authorial sludgebody isn’t easy to shake. Friday’s blog post should be interesting LOL!

Michelle Wolfson, if you are reading this, there is to be no talk of Pop-tarts and candy on twitter for at least 9 DAYS!!!!! Thank you. *smooches*

So, how do you get rid of authorial sludgebody? And why can my agent eat candy for three meals a day and look like a pixie ninja??? Do public declarations work for you? Or do you keep your challenges on the down-low? What’s the hardest part of getting yourself in the best health? Does it help to have a specific program to follow or do you like to wing it? What’s healthy living mean to you? Are you eating candy while you’re laughing at me????



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  1. Hey Lady!!!

    Super excited for you! Ive done this a few times! It totally sucks! but then it feels AMAMAZING…Pete and Laura did their umpteenth one. If you need a support call when even tomato sauce looks good for breakfast drink a bunch of water and call me 🙂

    xoxox Erin

  2. Oh, honey — *commiserates* I look like that picture. I haven’t tried a cleanse like this — I did a juice fast once and nearly went on a rampage. 🙂

  3. Go, Go, Go, Kimmie! You can do it!

    Not sure something like this would be for me…but I’m very happy to support you! 🙂

  4. *gets out the popcorn and Milk Duds* Okay, I’m ready. Let the Cranky K-pop show begin!

    (Oh, wait…was that mean? I’m sorry. Really, I’m just sipping my, um, water. And not eating anything. I swear. *crosses fingers behind back*)

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