A Decade of Missing His Little Things

Filed under: Family, Uncategorized

Today it’s been a decade since my dad died. At first I started to say it’s been ten years since I lost him, but that didn’t sound right. As much as I miss him, I never feel as if I’ve “lost” him. He never seems absent to me. Rather it feels as if our relationship has been altered to fit our new circumstances–like he’s crossed through a magical wardrobe or passed through a wrinkle in time. He’s no longer huggable, which is a definite downside to this phase in our relationship, but the trade off is that there’s a fluid, intuitive connection between us that exceeds what we had when we were just an arms length away. But despite the continued love between us, I really miss having him here.

Kim and Dad at Powell Point-Grand Canyon July 1998

In memory of my “old life” with my Dad, my husband helped me find this video. It reminds me of why his absence still feels so big–he’d always showed up in a million small places. He was this guy for so many of us. He’s my role model.

Love you and miss you Dad. <3
Today in the comments, please celebrate someone living who is doing the little things that mean the most.
Happy New Year and don’t forget what’s important in 2015.

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  1. Oh, Kim…I love this *sniff*…and I love YOU. <3 Your father sounds like such an amazing man – but of course, he raised the wonder of YOU! 🙂 The one in my life I must celebrate who does those little (and BIG) things each and every day to make the world a better place is my husband, Larry. No one has a kind heart like his! From helping me to raise two wonderful sons, to giving up his seat on airplanes to those traveling in the military, to finding that perfect song to put a smile on someone's face, to supporting his family in every way – financially, emotionally, spiritually…to a little love note stuck to the refrigerator. (I could go on and on and on!) Our first date was a (double) charity event…and we've never stopped since. Larry never ceases to surprise, inspire and delight me with the little gifts he shares every day. Which, y'know, are really the biggest ones of all. Love my hubby! <3

    • Larry is an amazing guy and I never get tired of hearing all the stories you tell me of his kindness. So happy you have each other–two amazing people <3

  2. Hugs, Kim. I think my husband does a great job of all the little things in life. He’s pretty great like that.

  3. Kim, this post touched my heart deeply, because my father just passed away two weeks before Christmas. I miss him very much and I’ve been trying to celebrate all the little ways he enriched my life for so many years. He was a wonderful Dad, who played with us when we were little and guided us as we grew older. I know you want us to celebrate someone living and I could certainly do that too (my mother, my husband, my kids, for starters) but I wanted you to know how much this post meant to me.

    I’m not at all surprised that you still miss your dad ten years later.

    • Ohhhh Joanne–I’m so sorry. And very pleased that writing about my Dad helped you out today. ((((((hugs))))) I began my writing journey after my Dad died because I wanted to find the good things in the tragedy. That’s why I wrote about the afterlife. I was trying to make sense of it all. But it’s like an onion—one layer after another. So, I keep peeling it all back and finding something important about him and me all the time. I deeply hope that you discover as much beauty as pain in his passing. Sending my love to you. <3

  4. Catching up on reading. Wow, that’s a tear jerker! Thanks for sharing. That video is a great representation of your Dad, and of you!

    • Thanks <3 Missing the Benders too. Always such sweethearts to me.

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