I’m going to point out the obvious. We all don’t think alike. And on most days, that’s a pretty good thing. Although, I’m completely on board with everyone taking a stand against people who kick puppies. Even though diverse thinking is great, I guess there are some “absolutes” in my world.  But, I will not list my absolutes here, because invariably, some of my non-negotiables will quickly be called into questions because…

WE ALL DON’T THINK ALIKE.

I tend to visualize our differences and similarities in a Venn Diagram…

First, there’s the No Brainer Absolutes. (Not really completely absolute because we know there are people who DO kick puppies–shame on them.) And then on the other side of the Venn is the Live and Let Live group. Get a puppy. Get ten puppies. Get no puppies. Totally up to you. I don’t have an opinion at all…unless your ten puppies are pooping in my yard. But really that’s a blog post for another day. Back to the Venn. Clearly everyone has no brainer issues counterbalancing their live and let live philosophy on the other side.

BUT…

There is always an area of overlap in a Venn Diagram. It’s that dreary gray space where things aren’t so clear. Like your neighbors ten puppies (who you had no problem with) until they started puppy pooping in your yard. A serious middle-of-the-Venn mind field if you ask me. You’ve got to watch where you’re stepping with that one.  And of course, how the pooping scooping get resolved depends heavily on what both parties value the most. And a few other factors, like if the neighbor with the puppies is apologetic. Did they clean it up? Did they kick the puppies for misbehaving? Did you fling the poop back in their yard  and “accidentally” hit the side of their house? See, it’s complicated and ultimately must be resolved outside of absolutes. There’s that gray area again.

But even though I’ve been talking about puppies, there are other things on my mind. I’ve been recently wrestling with that same sort of sneaky gray area myself. But before I pull out my soap box, let me warm you up with another example of Venn Diagram grayness that really happened to me. I recently heard that Toys -r- Us has Breaking Bad action figures and parents are petitioning them to be removed. I was bouncing all over my Venn Diagram with this one…

1.  I loved the show and know that many adults collect action figures. So, this belongs in my Live and Let Live circle. But wait…

2.  I also strongly believe that in no way, shape or form are these toys meant for children. So, when I think of it that way, pulling those toys out of toy stores (aimed to sell to young kids) is a HUGE No brainer. Come on, there ARE people on that show that would kick puppies!

3.  But the reality is that after I thought about it very carefully, I realized, that while I prefer those action figures not be sold in toy stores my kids might shop at, my kids also don’t shop for toys that I don’t approve of. Those meth making figurines are not coming into my house. And passing a Breaking Bad action figure in the aisle of a toy store will mean nothing to my children because they haven’t watched the show and won’t any time soon. They want to buy things they’re interested in. So, we have now landed in that gray area again. I have opinions, but I know I can also work around the situation however it plays out. I am able to monitor my kids.

Have I lost you? Am I making sense? It’s the end of the day and sometimes I can never tell. But, even if you’re not so sure what I’m talking about, I think you know what’s coming. I try to do it in almost all my blogs. My goal is to make a connection to a seemingly unrelated topic I’m thinking about and reading/writing.

Here we go…

Please stop telling me what my kids should or shouldn’t read. We all don’t think alike, but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking. You can’t assume, just because I let my kids read things you wouldn’t let your kids read, that I’m negligent. I have a different opinion.  And it’s a responsible and intelligent one that is based on my kids and how I interact with them. My kids. My call. We don’t kick puppies and we won’t be buying Breaking Bad figures. But we will be reading all kinds of books.

I’m not going to go into the details of what I believe about reading. What I will tell you is there’s a difference between thinking you’re right and demanding other people only have the same thoughts as you. I may believe that you’d be better off if you thought about books the way I do. But that’s an unknown and I’m okay with that. Life choices result in different and varied responses, not absolutes.

Here’s the thing I’d like you to remember the next time you try to pull reading material off the shelf–when you pick and choose the books that are acceptable for YOUR kids, I don’t sneak into their bedrooms at night and read them stuff you wouldn’t approve of. So, please do not interfere with what my children are allowed to read. Classrooms, libraries, book stores and book fairs–in my humble opinion– are not dens of iniquity where puppies are kicked and souls must be saved. I believe they are the gray areas in the Venn Diagram of life. They are supposed to be one of the safe place where we can benefit from leaving the absolutes at home.

Those gray areas are the meeting places for all the people who don’t think alike.

The meeting of minds–that is a beautiful thing.

Tags: Books, Breaking Bad, censorship, Gray Zone, kicking puppies, Kids, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, reading, Toys-r-Us, Venn Diagrams

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From time to time I have these bright and shiny light bulb moments. Not just one single pop of illumination, but more like Times Square at night. Maybe even bigger than that…

Not all of these ah-ha moments are brilliant, or even worthy of stopping the presses. But together they bring a new light to my life. What it reminds me is that I am leaving a place of stress, upheaval, insecurity, sadness, fear and unfocus. And now I am moving towards a place where my compass is spinning towards it’s true north.

It’s not perfect. I still have “stuff” going on that I’d like to put behind me. Little black holes that suck up my illumination. I’m tired lately and I need to get more aggressive with getting to bed earlier. I have a couple tweaky body parts that are keeping me from running and dancing the way I like. And even though the weather is getting warmer, putting me in the salad, fruit and veggie, smoothy zone again. I’m also just as likely to be put in the ice cream zone as well. *le sigh* And yes, even though I want to be healthier–I’m counting down the days until the Easter Bunny brings me my Alps Chocolate. So–yeah–far from perfect.

BUT…

The the cascade of bright and shiny lightbulb moments is irresistible none the less. And what I love about a lightbulb moment is that it doesn’t feel forced–like I’m saying something in the secret hopes of trying to convince myself. Nope–this is the good stuff. It’s solid and true and I thought I’d share a bit of it with you. Be warned…they are kind of random. And of course I like it that way.

*EVERYTHING I read makes me a better writer. When I first started writing I only read for pleasure. I never read as a writer–for instruction. Then when I started reading as a writer, to improve my own craft, I found myself a little shell shocked about how much there was for me to learn. I forgot to get lost in the story. But now I feel as if I’ve found my balance. I’m like a person who’s been wearing bifocals long enough to jump effortlessly between perspectives. I’m liking this tremendously.

*There are more adult bullies out there then child bullies. Often they are instructing children how not to be bullies. I’m not sure we can change the adults–but I always have hope for the children.

*REMOVE YOURSELF FROM TOXIC ENVIRONMENTS!!!!! You can call me naive, optimistic, a door mat, pretty damn stupid, evolved, hopeful or even a glutton for punishment. In truth I’m probably a mix of all of them. But despite who I am, I’m not sure what makes me stay so long in relationships that allow people to treat me poorly. But I’ve discovered that whatever my motivations are/were for toughing out a bad situation–I’m happier when I’m no longer in a toxic environment. So yay for making a change, even if it took me way too long to make it in the first place.

*Raising resilient, happy, well rounded kids means sometimes they have to be miserable. If you protect your children from everything–their world will implode the day you’re finally not there to insulate them. Instead of fixing everything–it’s more important to hold up a mirror so they can witness their own strength. Reach out a hand to help them up when they fall. Hug them when things are hard so they know they are always loved. Let them fall down from time to time so they can practice getting back up on their own.

*I just want to write what needs to come out of me. I feel like I should elaborate, but I don’t need to. It’s that simple.

*The only reason I keep unpacking those leftover boxes is because I still have things I need and can’t find. If it weren’t for that…

*Half the battle in anything is showing up. This means sitting down and writing. It also means doing your laundry. It even means relaxing or climbing into bed in a timely manner.

*Homeopathy is the single best thing I’ve done for the physical and emotional health of myself and my family.

*Jealousy is like a fleet of dust bunnies. That dark feeling can hide in small unexpected places. It can be around every corner and blow out of hiding with the slightest breeze. And no matter how well you “clean house,” it can’t be eliminated. The evil dust bunnies must be stared down and wrestled into submission.

See how scary they are…

*My lap top is not going to live forever. *sobs*

*I am a work in progress. Every bright and shiny lightbulb moment I have today will be seen through a different lens at another point in my life. And that’s okay–illuminated moments of thought are the layers we use to get to more complicated thoughts and emotions.

I’ve got more, but it’s your turn. Are you having any bright and shiny lightbulb moments lately that you’d like to share? I find interesting thoughts breed more and more interesting thoughts…

Tags: bullies, Dust Bunnies, homeopathy, jealousy, Kids, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, lightbulb moments, reading, showing up, toxic environments, unpacking, writing

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Remember how I told you yesterday would be my first day with the boys all back in school again??? I’m a liar. The 7yo was home again. *head thunk* Now he has an ear infection. WE HAVE THE COOTIES AND THEY WON”T GO AWAY!!!!

What does this mean in the big scheme of things? Well, a chunk of my morning was eaten up by a Dr. visit and w-a-i-t-i-n-g at CVS. Grrr So my big plans to get EVERYTHING done on my domestic and professional list didn’t happen. Not like it was possible anyway, but at least now I can blame it on all those minutes that I used making toast, puncturing juice boxes and giving kisses. Ha! More than anything, I just want him to feel better–he’s been one off for quite a few weeks now–in and out of school. We joke that he’s allergic to academia this year.

As for you dear reader, I’m keeping this short and sweet because the school bus arrives with the 9yo in 45 minutes and I need to go grab my time turner and get some more stuff done. But my question to you is, what is the biggest obstacle you encounter when trying to work on your writing? What are your cooties and how do they mess you up? What slows you down the most? Are your cooties in your control or out of your control? 

COOTIES!!!!

Tags: Cooties, Kids, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, revising, Time Sucks, writing

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No, I am not that girl who has her post scheduled weeks ahead of time. There are two reasons for that. One is a good reason, I like to write with immediacy. I feel like most of my blog posts are about what is happening to me in the moment and I’m sharing it with you and I like that. But the not so cool reason is that I’m always flying around by the seat of my pants. There have been a few occasions where I’ve gotten a week ahead on posts, but then the next week I was scrambling because I got used to being ahead LOL!

Any-who.

So, usually I like to have my post scheduled to be up by 2:00am. FYI it’s 10:03am and I just sat down and had a “I should of had a V-8 moment.” BLOGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! But when I think about what I was doing instead of blogging–I can’t be upset. MY 11 year old had the day off yesterday and him and I  went christmas shopping, had lunch together and talked the nose off a brass monkey. We enjoyed every minute of it. Then I went to the 7 year old’s school holiday party and later the kids and I finally got the ornaments on the tree while watching the Grinch. One of the boys had a class and of course we read together. A lovely, busy day. Of course, then the 7 year old woke up with a 101 fever. Boo!  And since  we’re having a mini hurricane outside, I built an umbrella fort for the 9 year old and I at the bus stop. I even took the garbage cans in because they were kind of blowing away.

As it stands, I won’t get to the caroling event at the school (although that’s going to be modified in this weather), my blog post is late and there will be no chiropractor appointment either. The 11 year old and I are canceling our day-two lunch date-shopping extravaganza. We won’t be hitting the grocery store either and the first week of music classes are cancelled too. I’d bake my cookies, but I don’t have the ingredients. Can’t even wrap the last of the stuff because  the little people watching. But that’s okay–I’ll do some laundry, because I always have laundry to do and I’ll cuddle with my kids. And I’ll secretly enjoy the fact that I got to slow down today even though I’ll be even more crazy later on. And maybe–just maybe– I’ll pull out my revisions that I haven’t had a chance to get. Perhaps the best laid plans get in the way of the very best days.

And look at that…

I just peeked out my window and there are sunny blue skies ahead.

So if you were prevented from doing what you had to do, what would you like to be doing today?

Tags: Best Lais Plans, blogging, Holidays, Kids, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, Time Management

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