An interesting thing happened last night, although I guess it was technically this morning. Either way, every year for the previous 10 New Year’s Eves, I found myself staying up past the midnight drop of the Time’s Square ball, where I’d normally sit alone in the quiet of the house after everyone else had fallen asleep. I’d breath deeply and write a blog post about my Dad. The post usually carried me to the 2:00 am mark, the time when he passed away. This year–year eleven–I didn’t do it. It wasn’t that I forgot, possibilities for the post flitted across my mind at odd times throughout the day. But I also didn’t hem and haw over the last minute decision to quietly close my lap top as I walked by to go to bed. I let the post slip through my fingers like dry grains of sand and it felt like the right thing to do.

It’s not that I miss him less now that over a decade has gone by. I’ll never stop missing him. But I think that after eleven years, I don’t need the same things I used to in order to navigate the Dad shaped space he left behind.

For a long time I had to tip-toe around the new version of my life. I was careful because I didn’t want to fall into the black hole he’d left behind. It was a lot like the first night you move into a brand new house. When you wake up from a deep sleep and try to make it to the bathroom, you don’t know where you are or how you got there. And you certainly don’t want to make a move without enough light to navigate by. But you eventually find your way.

Now, after eleven years, I don’t even need a night light. I know my way. Even with my eyes closed, I can navigate around the Dad shaped space. But even so, sometimes I still look to the light…

Tags: Anniversary, Dad, Dad Shaped Space, New Year's Eve

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It’s been eight years.

Sometimes it’s still hard to believe you’re gone.

Some days it seems like it’s been forever.

I know you’re still with me

but…

Today I just miss being in the same place that you are.

A hug would be nice right now.

Miss you.

Kimmie

Tags: Dad, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, New Year's Eve

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I won’t lie. In my twisted little brain I think of Labor Day as New Year’s Eve. In my little world, back-to-school means the start of the new year. I’ve felt this way since I was a kid and I’ve never managed to shake it. That may have something to do with having moved from being a student, to a teacher and then a mother. But whatever the reason, I’m ready to start fresh and get to work. I’m ready for jeans and a sweater, soup, crunchy leaves and fuzzy blankets. I’m ready to have a little structure in my schedule. Of course, I’m not ready to get up early and pack lunches, but life is never perfect. There is an upside and a down to every season of life. The reality is that I’m always laboring but the how changes like the weather–and I kind of like it like that.

But since it really is Labor Day, I don’t want to let that moment pass me by either. I never like to forget how lucky I am. No matter how hard my job feels some days, it’s always good to remember those who have paved the way. Those have truly labored to give me what I have today. Thank you…

History of Labor Day

I know that most of you are out there having picnics and soaking up the last of the summer, but if you happened to find your way to my little old blog today, feel free to share the worst job you’ve ever held. I’ve got a few fun ones I can share with you.

Ready…set…back to school!!!!! Bwwaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Tags: Back to School, History of Labor Day, Kim Sabatini, Kimberly Sabatini, Labor Day, New Year's Eve

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